It’s no surprise that Americans purchase 58 million pounds of chocolate in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day, but something less savory also increases in Rexburg during the month of love — sexual assault.
The Rexburg City Police Department documented a total of 29 reported incidents of sexual assault in the year 2022. Approximately 20% of these incidents occurred in the shortest month of the year, February.
Everyone wants to find love, and there’s no way of doing that without putting your heart on the line — but that doesn’t mean safety has to be put on the line too.
At 7 p.m. on Feb. 7, BYU-Idaho students crammed into room 147 of the John W. Taylor Building.
“Why are you all here tonight?” said Shyloh Seaver, a senior majoring in marriage and family studies.
Fabric rustled as people adjusted in their seats and tugged at the collars of their coats. Chuckles accompanied darting eyes; someone coughed.
“To talk about dating,” said a student.
Seaver smiled and agreed that, yes, they were there to talk about dating, but, more specifically, they were going to talk about building safe, healthy relationships through dating.
It’s not surprising that dating is on the students’ minds, especially with the pink and red paper lanterns hanging from the Crossroads’ ceiling serving as a constant reminder that the love — or frustration — of Valentine’s Day is in the air.
Over 86% of Americans believe in true love, a 2022 CBS News/YouGov poll showed. Of those who feel they haven’t found it yet, 69% are hopeful that they will.
“I’m sick and tired of being ghosted and I’m sick and tired of being alone,” said Skyler-Bailey Manapat, a junior studying communication.
Manapat saw the poster for the five-week dating workshop beginning Feb. 7 and decided it was worth a shot.
The healthy dating workshop, sponsored by the Student Wellness Center, focuses on helping students build healthy, long-term relationships — not just finding romance.
Over one-third of American adults have used online dating apps in the quest to find love, a 2020 Pew Research poll says — that number may be higher among the concentration of young single adults in Rexburg.
“The number one way that people connect right now — couples — is through dating apps,” said Julie Valentine, associate dean at Brigham Young University College of Nursing and a researcher of sexual assault trends, in an April 2022 podcast sponsored by the National Institute of Justice.
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network reports that 8 out of 10 sexual violence victims know their perpetrator. Valentine’s research on sexual assault found that, of the previous percentage, 14% of victims met their assailant through a dating app.
According to a BYU-I faculty dating safety email at the beginning of the semester, students were told, “For students, dating apps and social media have become a major way of meeting new people, but they have also created new challenges and safety concerns at the university,”
The healthy dating workshop, based on the book How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk by relationship expert John Van Epp, focuses on helping participants exercise caution as they build strong relationships — no matter how they meet.
Implementing Epp’s Relationship Attachment Model and other safeguards outlined in the course helps those looking for love protect both their hearts and their physical safety.
“It takes time to really get to know someone and decrease risk and increase trust,” said Emma Erickson, a senior majoring in marriage and family studies {{senior}} and co-teacher for the dating workshop.
Manapat, sick of being ghosted and tired of being alone, thought the dating workshop offered a more realistic, healthy model of what relationships should be, rather than how they are often portrayed in the media.
He plans to attend the full course over the next four weeks, which happens every Tuesday at 7 p.m. in the Taylor Building, room 147.
“Everyone should know this stuff,” Seaver said. “It really can change your life and make dating less stressful.”
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault and need help, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-4673.